• About
    • Crying Laughing
    • Denton Little's Deathdate
    • Denton Little's Still Not Dead
    • Monster Club: Monsters Take Manhattan (with Darren Aronofsky and Ari Handel)
    • The Lost Causes of Bleak Creek (with Rhett McLaughlin and Link Neal)
    • First-Year Orientation (Anthology)
    • It's a Whole Spiel (anthology)
    • Broadway Bounty Hunter
    • Really Deep Conversations With YA Authors
    • Yoga Partners
    • Iconis/Lance And Ray/Jim Carrey's Mouth/Etc.
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Words
  • VO
  • Contact
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Lance Rubin

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Lance Rubin

  • About
  • Books
    • Crying Laughing
    • Denton Little's Deathdate
    • Denton Little's Still Not Dead
    • Monster Club: Monsters Take Manhattan (with Darren Aronofsky and Ari Handel)
    • The Lost Causes of Bleak Creek (with Rhett McLaughlin and Link Neal)
    • First-Year Orientation (Anthology)
    • It's a Whole Spiel (anthology)
  • Not Books
    • Broadway Bounty Hunter
    • Really Deep Conversations With YA Authors
    • Yoga Partners
    • Iconis/Lance And Ray/Jim Carrey's Mouth/Etc.
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Words
  • VO
  • Contact

Lance's Intense Pizza Jokes

August 3, 2010 Lance Rubin

Q: what did the pizza say to the popcorn?
A: get the f**k outa here, turd-muncher, i should be the one served at movie theaters!

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Hi.  This page is filled with news updates, random writing, creative guidance, and compliments on your hair.  Check out some greatest hits below, or just search around like a little mole.

  • creative guidance
    • Dec 21, 2015 Don’t Be Afraid to Smash the Glass Dec 21, 2015
    • Oct 15, 2015 Block Out The Noise and Make the Thing Oct 15, 2015
    • Jan 13, 2015 The Internet Will Always Be Dessert This Year. Jan 13, 2015
    • Jan 6, 2015 Be an Asshole in 2015 Jan 6, 2015
    • Dec 9, 2014 The Things You Have The Most Resistance About Doing Are The Things You Need to be Doing Dec 9, 2014
    • Dec 2, 2014 A Couple of Self-Helpy Books that Changed the Way I Look at the World Dec 2, 2014
    • Nov 11, 2014 The Road to Awesome is Paved with Shit Nov 11, 2014
  • denton thoughts
    • Apr 12, 2016 Official Announcement About DENTON 2: NEW TITLE! RELEASE DATE! Apr 12, 2016
    • Oct 15, 2015 Block Out The Noise and Make the Thing Oct 15, 2015
    • Oct 9, 2015 A deleted scene from DENTON. Don’t judge too hard. Oct 9, 2015
    • Apr 14, 2015 Denton is born. Apr 14, 2015
    • Nov 18, 2014 Let Me Clear Something Up or The Fascinating Phenomenon Whereby Nearly Everyone Gets the Title of My Book Wrong Nov 18, 2014
  • funny haha
    • Dec 22, 2015 Santa Claus’s Candid Thoughts on Popular Xmas Songs Dec 22, 2015
    • Oct 20, 2015 Exclusive Never-Before-Revealed Secrets from the BACK TO THE FUTURE trilogy! Oct 20, 2015
  • interviews
    • Mar 18, 2016 RDCWYAA Ep 3: I.W. Gregorio Mar 18, 2016
    • Mar 8, 2016 I love this interview. Mar 8, 2016
    • Feb 11, 2016 RDCWYAA Ep 2: Becky Albertalli Feb 11, 2016
    • Feb 8, 2016 RDCWYAA Ep 2 Trailer Feb 8, 2016
    • Jan 14, 2016 RDCWYAA Ep 1: Isabel Quintero Jan 14, 2016
    • Jul 2, 2015 thoughts on novel-writing and the emotional breakdown i had last week Jul 2, 2015
    • May 27, 2015 A must-listen Denton interview. May 27, 2015
  • news!
    • Aug 10, 2016 Broadway Bounty Hunter and other stuff Aug 10, 2016
    • Jun 7, 2016 COVERPALOOZA Jun 7, 2016
    • Apr 12, 2016 Official Announcement About DENTON 2: NEW TITLE! RELEASE DATE! Apr 12, 2016
    • Jan 19, 2016 This summer you can see a musical I co-wrote! Jan 19, 2016
    • Nov 10, 2015 The DENTON e-book is $1.99 for a limited time! (ALSO A CONTEST) Nov 10, 2015
    • Oct 1, 2015 Fall YA Scavenger Hunt! Oct 1, 2015
    • Mar 25, 2015 Some March things Mar 25, 2015
  • podcast
    • Aug 10, 2016 Broadway Bounty Hunter and other stuff Aug 10, 2016
    • Jan 22, 2016 A fake-park, a fake-bar, and a sad, sad stoop sale. Jan 22, 2016
    • Jul 30, 2015 Jul 30, 2015
    • May 27, 2015 A must-listen Denton interview. May 27, 2015
    • May 1, 2015 L and R Show: Temmy Maldonado May 1, 2015
    • Feb 13, 2015 Feb 13, 2015
    • Jan 5, 2015 Jan 5, 2015
  • random life words
    • Oct 6, 2015 a short meditation on birthdays Oct 6, 2015
    • Feb 3, 2015 Books my now-one-year-old son loved this year. Feb 3, 2015
    • Jan 13, 2015 The Internet Will Always Be Dessert This Year. Jan 13, 2015
    • Jan 6, 2015 Be an Asshole in 2015 Jan 6, 2015
    • Dec 19, 2014 Things change all the time. RIP Tea Lounge Dec 19, 2014
    • Nov 4, 2014 November 7th, 2004. When I Moved to NYC. Nov 4, 2014
  • things i love
    • Apr 12, 2016 your hair Apr 12, 2016
    • Jan 26, 2016 Books I Loved That You Should Also Consider Reading, Too, As Well: Installment One Jan 26, 2016
    • Jan 23, 2016 ten of my favorite funny first-person narrators Jan 23, 2016
    • Oct 6, 2015 a short meditation on birthdays Oct 6, 2015
    • Feb 3, 2015 Books my now-one-year-old son loved this year. Feb 3, 2015
    • Jan 30, 2015 Jan 30, 2015
    • Dec 26, 2014 My Favorite TV of 2014 Dec 26, 2014
    • Dec 19, 2014 Things change all the time. RIP Tea Lounge Dec 19, 2014
    • Dec 2, 2014 A Couple of Self-Helpy Books that Changed the Way I Look at the World Dec 2, 2014